Comments for Grace Lau's Journalism 61 Weblog

Comment on Reflective Writing by camccune

camccune — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 07:15:37 +0000

It is exciting when a new and interesting idea or story angle just pops into your head as you write (or rewrite). Sometimes you just wonder where it came from. It's almost magical. I recently saw a really interesting anime-influenced online story, NAWLZ. Here's the URL, in case you're interested: http://www.nawlz.com/ I look forward to reading your magazine project.

Comment on Topical #4 by camccune

camccune — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 07:04:45 +0000

It’s a puzzle, all right. But Merry Christmas to you!

Comment on Topical blog post: “A place to learn” by camccune

camccune — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 08:18:59 +0000

This is a nice piece. I like it.

Comment on Ethical Decision by camccune

camccune — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 08:15:02 +0000

#1 – Good plan.
#2 – That could present a problem. If you falsify information on a job application, you can be sued for fraud…along with your news organization. You’d be better off finding an inside source (or former employee).
#3 – If you use previously published material, credit a source immediately — in your story, not at the end of it.

Comment on Play Editor by camccune

camccune — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 08:05:32 +0000

You are right to think this story has potential libel issues. You have an accusation, but no official complaint filed and no corroboration.

Until a complaint is filed, or you have additional information verifying the student’s complaint, you would not want to run this story. Even if you left out the professor’s name, how many chemistry professors are there on campus? It probably wouldn’t be too hard to figure out who he was…so libel could still apply.

Comment on A Brief Memo by camccune

camccune — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 07:57:56 +0000

It’s a little late for me to be telling you this, but this sounds fine.

Comment on Feature Leads Exercise #2 by camccune

camccune — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 07:51:01 +0000

Pretty good lead, but you run into some problems with clarity in P2. How about:

A squirrel climbing on the Metro-North Commuter Railroad power lines caused a power outage Monday afternoon that brought the evening commute out of Manhattan to a halt.

(Then explain how it happened)

The outage occurred after an electrical power surge and weakened an overhead bracket, causing a wire to dangle down where it could be snagged by a passsing train, tearing down all the power lines.

Commuters waited for hours but the trains that could not run. They had to find alternate ways home.

Service was restored by crews by Tuesday morning.

Comment on Topical Blog Post: “Planning” by cmccune

cmccune — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 07:50:52 +0000

There’s a saying that goes something like this: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” (I think it’s a quote from John Lennon.)

Comment on My “Real News” Story by cmccune

cmccune — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:10:10 +0000

Look again at quote format. Don’t make me wait until the end of a long quote to find out who’s speaking.

“It is the most amazing and remarkable exhibition I have ever seen!” said Jeffery Kuo, a student at San Francisco State University. “The demonstration of the human bodies, the slices of the organs…I can even see an arm with just vessel, just blood vessel without any bones, muscles or skin!”

Your closing quote has the same problem.

You also need to tighten it up:
In the exhibit, description boards next to each specimen to explain how our bodies function under different conditions. For instance, “The Baseball Player” is described as “…at full stretch, his upper body twisted…

Comment on 45-second radio story by cmccune

cmccune — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:01:06 +0000

I’d like a slightly softer lead to introduce this story — to get my attention before getting into it. I’m not sure why you tell me about Gunther von Hagens since he doesn’t turn up in the rest of your story.